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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Pillayar Theru Kadaisi Veedu: Review

 “There are movies that you’ll forget the moment you step out of the movie hall. There are movies that you’ll forget after two-three hours or two-three days. But there are a few movies that’ll make you forget yourself. Pillayar theru Kadaisi Veedu is one such movie. You’ll leave the cinema hall with a heavy heart and tears in your eyes. Jithan Ramesh has come up with an award winning performance. This movie will be his big ticket to fame.”

Golden words by director Thirumalai Kishore, the new face of Tamil cinema.

And what are you guys searching for? A review? I have promised my mom that I will enforce a blanket ban on profanity and unparliamentary or abusive language.

CHOICE IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. THE CHOICE IS YOURS:


 OR
 I'M DONE

Monday, June 27, 2011

The 10 “Oh my god” moments

I have always been a big fan of the small things in life. The big things don’t appeal to me: the big things that dad talks to me about. Career, academics, money, settling in life and the like. He often says “Don’t sacrifice the bigger things in life in pursuit of the smaller things”. The smaller things are street cricket, watching a D/N encounter on the day before the exam blah blah. These small things add a lot of colour to one’s life but there are “other” seemingly small things that irritate a person to the hilt. Things that make one go “oh my god, not again”.

1.       You get into a nice comfortable position on the sofa and start watching an epic encounter unfold between two of your favourite teams as your dad joins you and starts a conversation about the “big” things in life.

2.       You go to a marriage ceremony hoping not to run into a specific group of garrulous old ladies and it turns out that they are the first ones that you get to see as soon as you enter the hall. They start talking about how much you have lost weight and looked much healthier the last time they saw you. ( Ennada kanna, ippadi elashta? Hostel la sappadu nalla illaya? Konjam osanthurka polarkey?)

3.       I haven’t personally experienced the following OMG moment (because I’m not old enough just as yet) but I have heard about it from a lot of people. The amazingly vetti, good-for-nothing chatterboxes (mostly a gang of old ladies who keep complaining about a certain Ranganathan who married out of caste) that turn up for every single marriage that happens in town are the culprits again. The moment they spot a guy or girl of “marriageable” age, they waste no time in telling them that “Next nee than (you are up next)” in front of a group of teenagers lazing around with nothing to do.

4.       As the jobless teens burst out laughing and as you twitch and turn in embarrassment, the unforgiving descendants of Satan come up with another killer comment: “Aiyyo, vekkatha paaru (Ah, look at the shy look on his/her face)” The day these loquacious pests learn that it’s an expression of embarrassment and not shyness, the world would come to an end. But I came across this beautiful sms the other day, the perfect counter for all those evil ladies: just repeat the “next nee than” dialogue to them at funerals. That should shut them up once and for all.

5.       You visit a hotel with a bunch of middle-aged relatives. After a sumptuous banquet, you exorbitantly praise the hotel and the cook. The Maama(uncle) sitting right across your table says, “Enna irunthaalum veetu saapadu pola varaathu (nothing can come close to home-made food any day)”.

6.       You travel with your grandfather on a boring afternoon and plug in your earphones to listen to A.R.R’s latest. As you get mesmerised by the lilting music, your lips accidently start muttering the song. Your grandpa suddenly gets up and says “enna irunthaalum MSV, Bhagavathar paatu mathiri varathu (no musician can ever come close to MSV or Bhagavathar)”

7.       You go to a movie with your girl-friend and specifically ask for the corner seat at the counter. Just for the sake of re-assurance, you get it clarified with the guy at the counter three or four times. The saintly person on the other end gives you a warm smile and the tickets. As you enter the theatre, you find the allotted seats to be right at the centre of the hall, with a group of college boys hooting and whistling around the allotted seats.

8.       You head to Sathyam cinemas to watch your favourite movie on the first day after telling your parents that you want to get some doubts in heat and mass transfer clarified from your friend, only to find your uncle at the theatre. He coolly calls up your dad and tells him “Hey guess what, I’m watching my favourite film with your son.”

9.       You prepare for your exams according to the blueprint prescribed by your teacher and wisely omit a certain portion owing to lack of time. The sly guy comes up with a question paper with majority of the marks allotted to the portion that you omitted.

10.   You sing praises of the almighty for finding yourself opposite to a lovely lass in a reserved compartment. Just as you start Peter uttufying and kadala pottufying, a long lost friend turns up from nowhere and asks for a seat exchange with the girl.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

180: An ode to randomness

Take a bowl, fill it with wheat flour, add some water and make a paste out of it. Then add a handful of sugar to it. Then take some chilli powder and spice it up. Now add a teaspoon of salt and top it up with finely cut bitter gourd. Now transfer this to your mixer and grind it well. Finally add some tomato sauce, mix well and taste it. How would it taste? Bad and RANDOM? That’s precisely the kind of taste 180 leaves in your mouth after you’re done tasting one half of it.

The first half is an assimilation of half-baked, beautifully captured scenes carrying well-defined characters speaking horribly childish dialogues. The movie’s got some beautiful music by debutant Sharreth, agreed: but does the director have to slip into romantic melody mode every now and then to keep reminding us of the composer’s prowess? Yes, the crew has been gifted with a brilliant cameraman but does the director have to resort to ultra slow mo gimmicks every seventh second to remind us about the overabundance of latest gizmos and gadgets in his camp, especially after the overkill in the IPL? The scene where Nithya Menen goes about clicking pics of the newspaper kids is the height of gimmickry! Priya Anand is hot and a hot heroine is a rare commodity these days. Why didn’t they capitalize on it, especially with so many songs in the movie? Instead we see her crying throughout the movie, the lesser said about her acting the better: what a disgrace!
What was Nithya Menen doing in the movie? Siddarth himself was a big disappointment: the usual flamboyance and the opulence of on-screen energy was definitely missing. His acting too, was surprisingly below par. The movie had a decent storyline going for it but it’s the atrocious screenplay that ruined it.

I loved certain small things about the movie though (spoilers alert): the girl proposing for a change. I am tired of watching men propose. Secondly, Sid’s symbolic re-birth in Varanasi. But one major thing about the movie kept bugging me: fear of death is constant and independent of geographical location. The American Yamadharmaraja (funny fellow, unintended humour) stops haunting Sid as soon as he shifts base to India. Initially, Sid is shown as a person completely flabbergasted, thanks to the medical reports that predict a premature death. There is no emotional angle to it at first; his wife doesn’t come into the frame. It’s just an image of a man unhappy with the supposedly unfair end awaiting him that we get to see: which implies that his premonitions regarding death shouldn’t cease to occur even if he moves to another location because it’s an inner devil that’s haunting him. The inner devil functions independently, with third-party emotions, people and place of existence having no-bearing on it whatsoever. But Sid becomes a different beast once he shifts to India: the happy-go-lucky, live for the moment person with no emotional hindrances, with absolutely no memories about the love of his life.

The purpose of Nithya Menen’s character was bamboozling and if the director intended to make us feel sad for the character at the end of it all, sorry boss: big failure. And I wonder if the box-office result is going to be any different!

Friday, June 24, 2011

CHENNAI RAWKS

My city Chennai rawks. You know why? Because we founded 2 important languages other than tamil: they are Tanglish which is tamil and engleesh kalanthufied and one more is madras basha, which is called that even though we’re Chennai(super kings). We often kalanthufy both to kalaichify those Peter anculs who always gaandethify us.

We also want to ushaar white gals like aadukalam Dhanush and ishtukunu run with her. We also want to ushaar getthu figures like his maamu baasha rajini who speed ah auto drives and corrects nagma. You don know maamu? Kamal telling in vasoolraja, u not see: raja calling raju, maamanar calling maamu. You kamal don’t know, then you’re dubakoor maamu.

 But these mokka peters come, speaking englees, vittufy gapsa, ushaar figures, do gujjals, gaja gaja and then kazhundufy. We are not like they. We are degent pellows, we don’t dabaichify and valchikinu run away without parent’s permit and license.
We rare drink quarter, penathify and pethify to them and finally become tight and matta. Why? To make them peel our peelings. they’re odachifying our idhayams, for them nogala? What they seeing in peter not in me? he is thairsatham, his face same to same as maida maavu. If i become gaandu i’ll take steel palupu and adichi moonji keenjilam keechiruven. Or acid take and throw on his mogarakatta. But why i not doing? Because me degent and serious love my figure.

If she want i coming talking to her naina, my maamu. I asked her ready-aa, ok-vaa? But she no. Semma bejaar pa that figure. Ok i not beetiful, no thuddu, live in gudsae she can ajjust no? So many things ajjusting in lype no?  my love serious annathey. See my hand. blade aala keeshtaen and write her name. She see and mersalaidichu, light-ah gaandaichu.

Yechusme i karichi kotting my peelings and you why no reaksen? I telling rightu no? You understand why she not understand? In cinema, getthu figure like tirisa and all kalyanam kattufying vijay no? She not see cinema i thinking, my petta pasanga also same thinking. In next janmam, i want to be born peteru ba, i’ll pray my kulasaamy. I will be mokka, poota case and drink milk, no quarter. But matter what means i getting my figure.

Seri wait kaindukaatha, i will stop mokka. why putting sceenu, you that big appatucker become ah? Seri machi lateaachu, oru quarter soltu appeat aavu. Taa taa..

Friday, June 17, 2011

BALA DISAPPOINTS! ( an open letter to my idol)

Dear Bala,

Why Bala, why? Why did you make this film? What were you thinking? What were your motives? Every time I witnessed those words “a film by Bala” on screen before today at the end of every movie of yours, I used to be immersed in a sea of sadness and contemplation. But today as I walked out of Rakki cinemas, like I did two years before (spellbound after watching the first show of your Naan Kadavul on the first day), all I could sense was an air of disappointment surrounding me! When all those Mani Ratnam and Gautam Menon fans used to intimidate me and try to convert me to their religion, I used to stand there with all the pride in the world, defending my idol, my hero. But today, here I am, battered and bruised, hapless and helpless. Simply because, the one thing that has been a consistent ingredient in your arsenal was found missing: the storyline!

I still have to give you credit for leaving us petrified and tongue-tied in the last half an hour. I still have to give you credit for taking us back into your dark dens of depression. I still can’t write you off because you can make us gape at the screen in surprise and pleasure as you introduce your hero in the most bizarre way. But I can’t tolerate my favourite director making his protagonist ask his love, “un pant la zip irukka illaya? Zip irukka, appo Ethukku?” I can’t stand a pointless first half which lazes around with not an iota of relevance to the main story, though a normal director can get away citing entertainment value as the reason for providing meaningless comic relief. I can’t stand an array of mostly crass jokes besieging me, though a considerable part of the cinema hall was laughing it out. I must admit that there were a few funny exchanges and rib-ticklers here and there, but I’d definitely and most obviously expect more than inconsistent humour from a man of your stature.

Does this film need romantic interludes? Did the story warrant a guest appearance from a big star? Does “THE” Bala sir need to employ a gimmicky scene to bring out the acting prowess in an actor even though Vishal and Yuvan exploited the opportunity to the hilt? How barefaced can it get? Why did you have to wait for a sizeable 100 minutes before you started narrating your story? Why do you have to look at alternate avenues when you can keep us greedy and asking for more everytime you belt out a movie very much in your comfort zone? Why do you have to deliberately attempt a forced brand of humour when you can effectively intersperse comedy in your mainstream narration. When all the characters who were assumed to be comedians and sidekicks exhibited astounding dimensions and impacted the storyline in a subtle yet substantial way in your earlier ventures, why the indifference and unfair bias in your latest avatar? Why did you have to get the best out of Na.Muthukumar only to leave him high and dry without visual support?

Many people may still find your latest venture appealing, thanks to inspiring performances from Arya and Vishal(surprise, surprise: another actor is born out of the Bala camp.terrfic effort) whose fans may find this a treat. But you have let one of your biggest fans down. I have already started anticipating your next movie because I know you’re only going to come back stronger. I know the wait is going to be a long, as it has always been but I know you’d treat us to a refreshingly vivid spring once the drought is over.
Yours truly,

A Bala fanatic (forever)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Qutub Minar: A few clicks and observations

I recently visited the national capital Delhi. Just like any other tourist, i visited the Qutub Minar . I made some interesting observations. I also made a few comparisons to the other monuments I had visited during my childhood. I discovered a few things, clicked a few pictures and returned home a happy man, my heart filled with nostalgic thoughts and memories. The monument and the structures around it are an ode to the slave dynasty: Qutubuddin Aibak, its first ruler, constructed the Qutub Minar. The enclosure also contains Iltutmish's tomb, the iron pillar which has remained corrosion free for the last few centuries and tombs of Iltutmish and Alauddin Khilji, other rulers of the same dynasty.
P.S: I'm not an expert on architecture. Just an inquisitive traveller who loves comparisons and constructs his own beliefs based on personal observations.


The big one: the full view.

Typical Muslim architecture: Urdu all over the place, beautifully textured walls and wonderfully improvised use of basic geometric figures to create splendid boundaries.
 

What can  I say? Dumbfounded, Spell-bound! Absolute beauty! Classy: Delicious texture.

 

One very interesting discovery was the pillar design. In Hindu temples, all the pillars have a very uniform design i.e all pillars look the same, at least the ones in the same corridor. but this was quite startling. Every pillar in this photo has a distinct design.


This one was a little queer. The Muslims are not known to be idol worshippers but this one reminded me of the usual stone carvings one is likely to find on the walls of any Hindu temple. The arch like enclosure and a deity inside the same is a very common sight in a Hindu temple. this may still be something else ( I'm no expert on architecture) but I have never come across Muslim architecture that depicts idols and human-like figures. They're known for their extensive use of basic geometry to create intricate designs and the omnipresence of Urdu inscriptions.  This one was quite a surprise.


This inscription, brought back memories of something I had read about the ASI in pertinence to the Muslims and the ASI's attitude towards the Muslims after partition. All muslims, regardless of their class or position were subjected to severe scrutiny by the ASI as every Muslim in India was thought to be a Pakistani agent. Hence every Pakistani was asked for details about his family and was told to bring back relatives residing in Pakistan to India. Sardar Vallabhai Patel was supposedly a key element in this movement. The Muslims in India, who were already feeling insecure, were made to feel even more insecure, thanks to such activities by the government.
                                                     


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Azhagarsamiyin Guthirai: Whiff of fresh air

There is one big problem with all these filmmakers who set out to make movies with a plot bearing any minor pertinence to social issues of any kind: they can be exceedingly loud in terms of presentation. So much so that, the plot takes a backseat after a point and the director’s urge to communicate his opinion leads to alliteration-laden lengthy monologues. This problem has ruined many regional films that could have been quite a few notches higher on the quality ladder had the treatment been spruced up with a little more innovation.
One such movie was “Katrathu Tamizh”. The debutant director had a very innovative and relevant theme that translated into a loquacious narrative complete with value education lectures towards the end. In an effort to pictorially present an alternate take on the economic reforms that shook India in 1992, the director gifted us a half hour lecture on globalization. Though the theme appealed to me, I personally felt that the director tried too hard to make a different flick: one that tried to be different for the heck of it!  I personally feel cinema being the visual media that it is, messages are best conveyed and appreciated through pictures. Dialogues play a very vital role but being a little stingy and conservative on that count can only enhance the charm. I’d prefer a graphic representation, visual depiction to a lengthy lecture any day.
That’s exactly why Azhagarsamiyin Guthirai is a gem. It’s a light hearted take on the various superstitions and the social evils that plague remote villages in Tamil Nadu. The problems due to these unscientific practices are part of the storyline i.e. they don’t appear as sidetracks thus making multi-Para monologues unnecessary. Yes, the movie features controversial issues like inter-caste marriages, satirical digs on meaningless rituals, fortune-telling and black magic, superstitions and the like. But at no point does the audience or the director feel the need to tag along a scene in which the protagonist transforms the village with his oratory skills. On the contrary, one of the central characters in the movie, an iconoclast in love with a female of another caste, is shown to be a person who openly sneers at tradition but doesn’t feel the need advocate his views to change the world around him simply because he doesn’t see a point and lacks the belief that things are going to change. He prefers to whisper wisecracks to his friends who echo his thoughts or mouth a one-liner to a police inspector who appears to be bewildered by the omnipresence of ignorance around him. These verbal tickles and the smile that they bring on your lips are definitely more effective than those verbosely sermons.
Satire is another interesting feature in ASK. Be it the director projecting his hilarious intent through the scenes mocking at fortune-tellers, the villagers performing shockingly funny rituals and investing in thoroughly unscientific beliefs in the name of god as the iconoclasts have fun watching them or the sarpanch and his sidekicks getting embarrassed in the process of hunting for funds, the sarcasm is of the highest order. The dialogues are crisp and explosive. Sample this: “dai ithu saami guthirai. ithu un guthirai than nu sollarthukku unkitta enna Saatchi iruku?”
“ithu saami guthira than nu solrathukku unga kitta enna Saatchi irukku?”
The best part about ASK is that it’s not preachy. Total abstinence from fanaticism is an astounding feature: nobody is deemed perfect; at no point does the director point fingers at a person and tell us that this is how you got to lead your life. He examines the beauty of various characters, marvels at the splendour of diversity and depicts the pleasurable chaos that reigns as a result. The movie seems to be glorifying pragmatism and rationalism at certain junctures, the group of suspecting, sceptical youth start becoming a little larger-than-life and heroic: but just when you start feeling that way, the director comes up with a comical scene in which a kiddo makes a fool of these ostensibly smart men, indicating that no one or nothing is foolproof.
Another interesting aspect that’s been highlighted is the plight of rationalists in the society. Just because they speak against the conventional motion, they’re dubbed as real life villains. (I know people who hate Kamal Haasan and Karunanidhi because they are atheists!) Rationalists rarely care about the indifference they are subjected to, but this movie makes a conscious effort to underline the fact that people with alternate ideologies can be humanitarians too. Though I have come across many militant atheists who speak passionately about atheism and are fanatic about it and make it a religion like cliché in the process, I also know of people who are open to arguments and know to respect an alternate faith at the same time as long as it’s not imposed on them. The climax is a beautiful exhibition, an honour crowned upon the people of the second kind.
But the most enjoyable character in the movie was definitely appukutty dude! I find him cute in his own way and he’s a pretty good actor too: I loved his introduction scene where he runs at the sight of his horse as Ilayaraja gives us goosebumps with his background score. The tinge of innocence and a conscious effort to not hurt others in spite of overt love for his horse has been gracefully portrayed. The emotions in the scenes involving appukutty have worked wonderfully.
Ilayaraja is a different beast in this movie: we see a contemporary version of the maestro. The lengthy orchestrations are replaced by brief strumming and strategically placed fill-ins though he does dig out scenes to exhibit his traditional genius. The songs are a little below par but they are a treat when you watch it on-screen with a little visual help. The cheeky interludes still evoke that occasional smile on your lips.
To sum it up, the film’s a breezy piece of visual poetry that’s sure to invigorate you!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Aaranya Kaandam review: Weird yet striking!

Aaranya kandam is a very tough movie to rate, review or define. The movie is weird and the treatment is “Tarantino”ish. The splash of yellow with the occasional sprinkle of red or black aptly characterizes the movie throughout and effectively amplifies the impact. Two things set Aaranya kandam apart: the movie scores a big zero as far as the entertainment quotient is concerned. The movie doesn’t have songs, leave alone item numbers: something I personally found refreshing but I’m not sure if everyone’s going to like it that way.
 Secondly, the director takes his own sweet time to sketch his characters and elucidate their demeanours and their ideals. The elaborate detailing adds to the final impact but if you are one of those guys who wants to go to the movie hall, sit back and have some fun, the movie is going to be a little rough on you: the experience is a challenge and calls for unbridled attention. Certain essential scenes can be dead boring but if the viewer doesn’t twitch and turn and stays focussed, he will find the director to magnanimous in terms of deliverance of cinematic ecstasy.
The movie flies high on the back of some terrific on-screen renditions from unexpected quarters, haunting BGM and sound effects, fireworks in the form of hilarious dialogues and a screenplay that’s reminiscent and fascinating as dark poetry. The intertwining of the dialogues and the screenplay, the process of the two getting together and making love on-screen as the story is unravelled is one significant feature that makes the film-lover in you jump in joy. The wise-cracks and the one-liners glitter with belligerence, sample these: “anney, yaar kooda ney pesiturnthinga? Anniyaa?” “illa, un *unni”
“dai unga appa va naan kapatharaen da, yaen naa unga appava kadathinavanga thaan yaen pondatti ah yum kadathirkaanga”
“katna pondattiya vey ozhunga vachchikka thuppu illa, ithula nee enga appava kaapathaporiyaa?”
The BGM is another aspect that elevates the experience: the theme music that plays at various junctures when the emotions run high, the radio that keeps playing in the backdrop (ilayaraja’s best as usual: it’s becoming a trend to play his stuff in all movies) and the sound effects spice up proceedings wonderfully. The casting is kickass: Jackie Shroff as the menacing, repulsive bad ass, Vijay as the satirical thug, the smart kid who mouths memorable dialogues, his good-for-nothing dad, Sampath as the roughie with a heart, Ravikrishna as sappa, the girl who plays Jackie’s concubine and all the others who play small-yet-significant roles (gajendran and gajapathy, the fortune-teller etc.) have seemingly had a field day donning their respective vivid hats. I was particularly impressed with the lone female in the movie.
But the biggest winner at the end of it all is the storyline: what a beauty! The setting, the build-up, the evolution of characters and the climax: every single aspect is brought out poetically with detailing at its graceful best! The basic theme itself is refreshing, the director intelligently not refraining to proverbial endings. It’s a beautiful take on mankind: it takes guts to point out that everything is secondary to desires and that survival is mankind’s most basic instinct. There’s nothing right or wrong about any deed or activity and it all comes down to perception.  It’s a gangster flick that doesn’t feature fat goons exploding at 140 decibels, a story in which the baddies don’t thirunthify towards the end. More than everything else, it re-defines “different”. It’s a lesson for all those film-makers who claim to have made different cinema after burdening their works with cliches. Ambition reaches dizzy heights, thanks to Thyagarajan Kumararaja and S.P.charan! It’s time for you to honour them by watching it at the nearest theatre.   

Monday, June 6, 2011

MY FIRST LOVE

Trains have been and will always be an integral part of my life. I wonder what life without trains would have been for me. My dad’s job is of transferable nature, so mom and I have had to travel a lot to meet my dad. Then came the time for me to join a school. I live in a village, so I had to travel about 17 kilometers per day to reach my school< a good school used to be a rarity back then>then I shifted base to the city to study in another school, so I had to travel back by train to enjoy my weekends at my hometown. I’m in the final year of college now and trains have been my tickets to freedom over the past three years. When it comes to freaking out with friends in the city or travelling to destinations across the city, I have not had the misfortune of looking beyond the eternal love of my life. I also embark on trips to various places of interest across the Indian Diaspora every year and the train journeys have made these extra special.

There is something magical about trains. The rhythmic and harmonious sound that’s churned out as a result of the propulsion is music to my ears. The quantum of activity that one gets to witness in a train is unbelievable. The cry babies, the garrulous old men, the irritating girls ceaselessly talking about lipsticks and make-up, the maamas and maamis discussing family problems, the loud businessmen shouting at employees over their phones, the taciturn dude enjoying the evening breeze and music on his I-pod, brainy middle-agers discussing business, politics and cinema, the locallu boys smoking beside the door and discussing something in hushed voices, female vendors spitting paan in between the pointing finger and the middle finger: well a train is definitely not short of characters.

The moment I step inside a train, I make it a point to get myself a seat and observe these characters (any other discerning observer mistakes me to be the taciturn dude type). After I am done with the fun, I get into the groove for some action. I mostly end up joining the brainy uncles discussing economics (banks, fiscal policies, economic reforms, recession etc.), a subject that’ll never cease to fascinate me. I put my hand up for the occasional dumb doubt or giggle at a pun-filled remark. I don’t listen to music when I’m travelling because I’d miss out on fun; I make an exception to the general rule when I travel with my family though.

The aforementioned characters are usually encountered in electric trains in Chennai or when travelling by a reserved compartment in an express train. It’s a different story altogether when I travel by a general unreserved compartment. I prefer travelling by an unreserved compartment any day and I’ve been doing it quite regularly. My friends keep interrogating me about it. Well one main reason is that it’s cheap. And I love the air of unexpectedness that surrounds an unplanned trip. That fizz motivates me! One doesn’t get to see such a variety of characters in a general compartment. In fact, there are only two kinds: the innocent, stupefied person, a common man in the real sense, not the common men the media goes gaga about: his eye sports the glint, the twinkle that you would notice in the eye of a 10-year old when you take him to a planetarium. Not a hint of self-consciousness is noticeable. Next, there is the arrogant transgressor who thinks smoking or drinking in public is cool; a brash youth with coloured hair that doesn’t suit him one bit: the type of guy who plays a petty thief in movies.




I love talking to strangers because it’s a way of making friends and I’d like to slap people who condemn conversations with strangers: every friend of yours was once a stranger idiot! Try striking a conversation with the first kind: its bliss of the highest order. They don’t understand recession, they care a damn about the political scenario, they don’t have to worry about corruption and its consequences, and they mistake you to be abusing them if you mention Anna Hazare or Baba Ramdev. But I have to admit that these people are generally conscious about their religion and caste. They are in love with their place of origin and their surroundings. Love for nature is instinctive. They can give you INTERESTING ten hour lectures (that sets them apart from our lecturers in college) about their kovil thiruvizhas (temple gatherings), oor sandhais(er, temporary malls in villages, not multi-storeyed though  ), riots, relatives, marriages, food and children. They also come up with the occasional wisecrack about cities, culture and this generation. Trust me, these conversations are much more interesting than the “student politics, I’m gonna change the world” discussions. And when it’s time for you to get down, they paint their words with emotion, genuine ones at that!

I usually resort to sleeping when in a reserved compartment during night trips, unless it’s a youngster on the other side, preferably girls. The topic of discussion I’d prefer when I embark on a night time journey with girls is obvious, so I don’t have to fuss about it. With guys, its different, I usually let the other person dictate the course of the conversation; I make it a point to be a good listener and get to know about things I don’t know. Gossip stories in other colleges make for interesting listening as well and it’s preferable to hear it from a girl’s mouth. Girls are good at spicing things up: in kitchens and otherwise.

I recently made my first proper long distance trip in an AC compartment. I hated every bit of it till I got a seat alongside an old fellow on his way to some meeting in Kerala. Apparently, he hasn’t had much education but **maaley! He spoke about everything that makes up the complex cycle of life! By mistake, obviously ignorant about the sea of questions that were to besiege me, I told him that I was pursuing mechanical engineering. And that was it! I am ashamed of the fact that I’m going to be in possession of a b.tech degree in a year’s time!


The writer of this post is also in awe of the MRTS in Chennai and the metro in Delhi. The speed, the grand structures and the network: they’ll never cease to amaze me. He is also eagerly awaiting the arrival of Chennai metro (there is a possibility of monorail making its debut too). But there’s one disturbing thought amidst the ocean of fond memories. I don’t mind the railways treating the AC compartment commuters to spicy food, newspapers, magazines and other privileges. Excusable discrimination. But I think the commuter in the general compartment deserves better sanitation facilities. A parryware toilet in the ac compartments and rusted mugs and soiled toilets for others is definitely unacceptable!



Sunday, June 5, 2011

BABA'S FAST: AN IPL TWIST

1st “Power” play: Baba threatens the UPA by expressing his desire to go on a hunger strike against corruption. Expects a capacity crowd of ten million people!

Strategic time out1: UPA high command gets into a huddle and UPA’s man for all seasons, their own version of Subramaniam Badrinath, Kapil Sibal is sent in to silence the storm.

Middle overs: Team Orange’s domination is evident but home team UPA manages to strike a few important blows. Uses decision review to protect a few of its important players like the PM!

“Citi” moment of success: There is no stopping the Baba! He storms out of the conference hall, raises his hand in triumph as an imaginary crowd goes berserk in front of him. The fast will go on as scheduled!

“Karbonn” Kamaal catch: RSS and BJP cheerleaders clad in orange are found waiting outside. They lure the Baba with their orange jerseys and a few black suitcases. CNN-IBN reports a 140 decibel roar heard from inside the Shiv Sena’s office. One sainik tells reporters that they have caught the big fish! Bewildered by the statement’s contradiction to the RSS’s pro-vegetarian stance, the reporter walks back!

Innings break: Singh Digvijaya, AICC’s glamorous host gets candid with the Baba. Baba talks about his modern thoughts and chronologically relevant ideologies like imposing a ban on coffee, tea and cola, directing homosexuals to asylums, ban on 500 and 1000 rupee notes etc. He stresses on the importance of bringing back black money stashed in tax havens. At this juncture, he gets a beep from the “left” hand side of the playground, a certain “Karat” who’s got nothing to do with gold jewellery, elucidating details about his “peace” island in Scotland. Baba puts his phone on silent and replies with a “ ttyl :x “!

2nd “power” play: Sadhvi Rithambhara, a renowned secularist according to the people on the right hand side who has made innumerable anti-Muslim speeches and was an integral part of a movement of supreme national importance (read babri masjid demolition), joins the bandwagon thus making it a perfectly non-communal movement! Home team launches a counter-attack: police forces swoop down on Ramdev and co.

Strategic time out: Baba sneaks out by wearing a salwar.

Off-field gossip: actor Vadivelu spotted in the crowd. Wait, he’s on the big screen too! Vijaykant’s number engaged!

Middle overs: Rebuilding phase for the Baba! Meanwhile a m(o)ody(i) guy from Gujarat refers to police action as an act of barbarism and ravanlila at ramlila!

Slog overs: Baba dares the police to arrest him. The orange gang arrives in huge numbers to condemn the barbaric act!

Result: it’s a tie!! Bring on the super over. Ramdev suggests a venue change: Haridwar!

Elsewhere in Chennai, a boy named Soupy: Machaan, if the communists and the BJP get together during the next elections, they’ll have two things in common with the gayle-dilshan combo. What?

Me: don’t know.

Soupy: both of them are potentially explosive and they’re a left-right combination too!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

THE MUDDLEHEADS

We are fortunate to be living in an era of creativity. As a kid, I remember myself being a fan of advertisements blessed with catchy jingles. Advertisements weren’t in vogue those days. It was a period when the ad film makers and the IT professionals were not so cool, a period marked by a stark contrast to the economic policies that made Indians poorer and India richer. Now almost two decades after the “revolution”, here we are in the era of Zoozoos, with levels of creativity reaching dizzy heights.

But there are a few advertisements I stumbled upon in the recent past that made me think if the human race is travelling back in time to the days of the early men. I mean, how can a human being be so sterile in terms of imagination and creativity? The following is a list of ads that annoyed me to the hilt:

Docomo: I was highly impressed by the simplicity and the creativity in the Docomo ads initially. Be it the use of stick figures or the cute “tu toothu” jingle, everything worked for the ad. Then they slowly started overdoing it. They tried an emotional connect with an ad set in a train and it bombed big time. It used to be aired during the over breaks in the indo-oz series and I remember my friends booing loudly in the hostel common room every time.

But Docomo hit an all time low in terms of innovation and judgement by employing Ranbir Kapoor as their brand ambassador. Watching him onscreen is a pain in itself and I wonder how a sane person can possibly entrust this kid with the responsibility of endorsing a brand. Ranbir is supposed to be doing stand up comedy in this series of ads. How the hell did the makers find this funny? The people laughing in the background have to be retards of the highest order! And Ranbir, go drink milk kiddo. Try knocking on Amul’s doors. At the moment, you look like Docomo’s Zoozoo. It’s just that you’re not funny.



Idea: I have no idea how the makers of this ad could have made a front door entry into the world of ad film making. Film critics had unlimited fun mocking at his histrionics in Raavan in the hope that he wouldn’t try his hand at anything as silly as that again. He’s back with a bang though. People had the easy option of skipping Raavan but the nature of AB’s new Avatar is such that there is no way out. To add to the misery, as if one AB wasn’t enough, we get to see three Abisheks in the ad, as if one was not enough.



JK Lakshmi cement: This one is quite old but I’m sure it’s still fresh in everyone’s memory. Remember the horrendous sight of a pathetic model clad in a single piece bikini walking out of the sea towards the shore? I’m sure that not a single person who’s watched that ad has deciphered its relevance to the product and it doesn’t look cryptic either. If the idea was to titillate, why didn’t they go for a better model atleast?



Parryware: During the Wc, every ad maker wanted to capitalize on the cricket craze in the nation. This resulted in an atrocious series of ads. The worst of the lot was Parryware. I am out of words!



The aforementioned ads have two things in common: 1. All of them are horrible. 2. All of them shared the purpose of promoting their product and most importantly, they had a product to be advertised. But I considered excusing all those ad filmmakers when I saw these. No purpose, no product, what the hell is your problem? can't say these are advertisements, but what in the world are they?

Monday, May 23, 2011

IPL 2011: Lessons and Ideas

IPL 2011 has been a colossal disappointment for cricket fans all over the world. One of my friends rightly pointed out to me the other day that the first and the last league matches were unbelievably close encounters where as all the matches that happened in between super duper duds. This IPL has witnessed some amazing individual performances but in terms of nail biting finishes and edge-of-the-seat thrillers, it has been thoroughly dissatisfactory.

The latest edition of the IPL was definitely not devoid of outstanding individual performances and “WTF?” moments though: Chris gayle’s blitzkrieg, Gilly’s answer to the same, Tendulkar’s hundred festooned with his own version of the helicopter shot, the emergence of Valthaty as a noteworthy T20 player, Lasith Malinga’s toe crushers, Ishant’s five for, THE RETURN OF DHONI OF THE OLD, inspiring performances from Badrinath and Rayudu, Amit Mishra and Ravindra Jadeja’s performances, Rahul Sharma raising a few eyebrows with his unorthodoxy, Aravind and Wagh troubling the best in business, Iqbal Abdulla and Shaun Marsh among others.

The big problem for this year’s IPL has been the fact that all the individual brilliance that this edition witnessed was seldom counter-balanced by an equally motivating rendition from the opposition. Gayle and gilchrist got sensational hundreds in different matches. Had they scored hundreds in the same match, had Gayle’s hundred set up a mammoth chase against the Gilly army, cricket enthusiasts all over the world wouldn’t be complaining now.

Decisively, the heroic acts in this IPL reminded me of the protagonists in masala flicks: the villains simply couldn’t decipher a way to strike back. Sehwag and Gayle simply shut the door on the opposition before they got out in their respective innings; Gilly started celebrating on his way back from the centre as he had already made up his mind that the match was over, Ishant was found memorizing the lines to be spoken in the presentation ceremony after his first spell against Kochi.

According to me, the biggest problem with this year’s IPL is the devolution and the decentralization of the resources. The addition of two teams has lead to dilution in the concentration of quality players in a single team. This problem could be addressed by allowing an extra foreign player to feature in the playing eleven. It’s just not acceptable to bench a world class spinner like Murali.

Questions maybe raised regarding the subsidized chances of an Indian talent featuring in the eleven. I think this is where the BCCI will be doing itself a favour by adopting the EPL model. The number of teams can be significantly increased and the system of divisions and relegation can be brought into the picture. For example, we can have an IPL team for all cities in India with serious cricketing talent and put each of these teams in divisions according to their potential (The best 8 teams play in the 1st division and the next 8 in the second division and so on.) At the end of the league, the bottom two of the 1st division gets relegated to the 2nd division and the top two of the second get promoted to the first. The same logic applies to the subsequent divisions. This way, all the cricketing talent in India can be unearthed and the viewers will also get to watch the best cricket at the highest level. This system will also encourage the participation of county cricketers of non-Indian origin in our league and cricketers from non-associate teams like Dockrell, the Brian brothers and Peter Seelar can dream of pursuing cricket full time. The chances of them making it to the big league< read first division> will also increase>

P.s: inputs from my friends< Chris sud Nolan and Adarsh Ganesan> helped me improvise this article. Thank you guys.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

ANNA, WHERE ARE YOU?

NOTE: THIS BLOG ENTRY IS NOT MEANT TO MALIGN HUMANITARIAN, PHILANTHROPIST, SOCIAL ACTIVIST ANNA HAZARE’S IMAGE. JUST A FEW NAÏVE QUESTIONS FROM ANOTHER “COMMON MAN”, A VERY COMMON TERM NOW-A-DAYS!

• What happened to the jan-lokpal bill and the common man’s crusade against corruption?
• Why has the media stopped extensive coverage of the proceedings pertaining to the bill and the lokpal?
• The massive uproar, as they used to call it, was perfectly sandwiched between the IPL and the WC! Finger pointing is useless because the media resorts to the famous dialogue from the Rajini starrer Sivaji: “It’s a coincidence, damn it!”
• The elections, the results and the high profile arrests that preceded and followed the elections were important but why does the media have to dump one sensational story after another as soon as the pursuit for the next big one ends?
• Why did the media ignore the fact that the proposed lokpal bill was undemocratic? Why does it constantly assume that the voters are fools?
• Am I the only one who feels that the media is deliberately highlighting the issues that strike a chord with the middle class and the affluent? I don’t remember seeing farmer suicides and oppression on the first pages of newspapers or on primetime recently while I come across millions of posts on the aforementioned issues on the internet! Excuse me if I am wrong.
• Who are these crusaders btw? Film stars who don’t miss an opportunity to showcase their opulence in style, but transform into aam aadmis during tax raids, students who exhibit their patriotism only on facebook and during an indo-pak cricket match, foolish youngsters who satisfy themselves by believing that missed call campaigns and sms-propagandas are enough to win the second war of independence against corruption, the graduates lazing around in pursuit of the requisite documents to fly to the US and parents making the occasional financial “compromise”(read ‘bribe’) to send their sons/daughters abroad or exercise their illegally doped up financial might to push their offspring into a “reputed” engineering or medical college so that he/she can get placed in a MNC.
• Oh, I almost forgot the IT professionals and the call center employees who massage the egos of their foreign bosses, the sycophants who are ever-faithful to the western corporate world and the NRIs who innocently ignore custom duty!
• What is corruption? Paying off a traffic cop is not corruption, bribing a clerk or a queue supervisor for “fast service” is not corruption, manipulating salary slips and re-imbursable bills is not corruption but a minister swindling a “few” crores for the upcoming elections is corruption! Sorry if I sounded like a Shankar-film protagonist! In simpler terms, FUCK YOU HYPOCRITES!
• The solution: Stop complaining. No idea! Let’s laugh at Abhishek Bachchan instead!

Monday, April 25, 2011

KO- THE REAL STORY

Ko is this recently released Tamil flick that I stumbled up on while lazing around near the theatres this weekend. It is definitely not the run-of-the-mill story you usually encounter in Tamil cinema. Ko brims with novelty throughout and it strikes you right away as you run through the character sketching. It has a never-seen-before larger-than-life central character who happens to be a journalist, a hot chick playing a “loosu ponnu” character (@director sir: hats off sir! Originality reaches new heights, thanks to you), it has a damsel-in-distress, an aspiring student-politician, two corrupt politicians (Prakash Raj and Kota Srinivas Rao! Brilliant casting by the director. Instead of giving these central roles to accustomed faces, he has bequeathed the responsibility of donning these roles on actors who have never ever played similar roles in their lives) with zero civic sense surrounded by braided goondas and Tata Sumos, a witness who turns hostile owing to political pressure and so on.
The best thing about Ko is that, at no point is logic compromised. There are certain unbelievably believable scenes like the hero somersaulting in his bike as he captures thugs in action with his camera, the bike emerging brand new after being crushed to an excruciating death in the preceding scene, a character triggering a bomb as he flies off a podium in slow motion after being forcefully pushed by another, a chief minister single-handedly trying to handle an emergency as the police and the rest of the defence ministry gleefully concur to his orders etc... The songs by Harris Jayaraj are scintillating to say the least and at no point do they remind you of his previous scores. There is a mystic touch about his re-recording and two deaf people who came to see the movie also claim to have HEARD the background score! The editing is incredibly crisp and unlike other movies, the placement of the songs is extremely precise, compulsory in fact! Any director who doesn’t pack his crew off to a foreign locale for a romantic jig featuring the lead pair after a bomb blast scene must be a fool!
The unbelievable degree of cinematic uniqueness inspired me to find out details about the making of Ko, its maker and its characters. To my surprise, I discovered that KV Anand is a schizophrenic, a film maker who TRIES to behave like Shankar, Mani Ratnam, Murugadoss, Gautham etc at different junctures. He also has hallucinations about afterlife and is so obsessed and addicted to concepts pertaining to the same. He has this tendency of extruding and extending his thoughts to tinsel town as well. So all his characters are KV’s perceptions of what they would have been, had they been given a second chance to live on earth!
Jeeva’s character is “Muthalvan” Arjun’s afterlife. All his yesterlife Karma are settled in this life of his. Firstly, he didn’t want to become CM in his previous life though he wanted to live a life brimming with abundant political activity. So he safely plays second fiddle. Next, he didn’t like his parents meeting with an early end. Hence he prefers to “virtually” kill them than “really” bomb them to death by giving them not more than one scene. Thirdly, he didn’t enjoy riding his bike to a long distance village too much to meet his gal and so Manisha’s afterlife Karthika is made to work in his own office! Fourthly, he was seen in tears after the Sushmita Sen item number got over in his previous life. He so badly wanted her to be his second heroine in that life. So Sush is reborn as Piaa and gets to do the item number as well be the second heroine. So, it’s evident that there is a method in KV’S madness. Arjun’s spirit retains its core competencies and its soul is found to be very much intact though, strongly reaffirming the obsession of KV’s psyche with the concept of rebirth and afterlife. Jeeva is as passionate about photography as Arjun. He’s honest, young, vibrant and agile, thus confirming his origin.
Now coming to KV again, his pitiable mental condition is ubiquitous and glaring in certain scenes. Only, the naive viewer is so engrossed in watching the genius unravel onscreen that he fails to notice the unique psyche of the creator. While canning the first scene (the bank robbery), the director was seen to be behaving like Lingusamy. The director, known for his command over the language was found pronouncing the word action as “ak-san”, exactly the way Lingu is known to pronounce it! The sequence has been shot the way Lingu would have shot it: it’s fast, racy and its over before you know it.
Though KV exhibits shades of different personalities at different points in time, he is known to behave and act like Shankar most of the time. Every time he flew to a foreign location to shoot a song, he spoke, ate and even slept like Shankar it seems. The results are overwhelmingly visible in the picturization of songs: like songs in Shankar’s films, the songs are a slideshow of pictures that have been usurped from the downloaded winrar file “100 best HD wallpapers” from the webshots site and the videos of Jeeva and Karthika dancing have been superimposed over them. The glass sculptures, lush green meadows, the mountains and the rivers have been captured just as Shankar would have captured them. The director seems to have been in a state of mental trauma while canning the scenes involving participation of students in politics. He seems to have vacillated between Mani’s and Shankar’s characters.
Another facet of KV’s self is revealed in a scene where different students from different academic disciplines unite for a social cause. K sababathy, a veteran technician who has worked in every film that Murugadoss has directed, just sent me a mail stating that he saw Murugadoss in every movement, every twitch and turn of his, in KV when he was canning those sequences. K kanakasabapathy, another veteran technician from Gautham Menon’s camp recollects watching a “gauthamed” KV when he was shooting the college flashback scene and the song therein. K manikkasabapathy, KKK’s son, a sound engineer who has worked with Yuvan adds a new speculative dimension claims that he saw a glint in Harris’ eye when he was composing the college song in Ko which resembled the spark that he saw in Yuvan’s eye when he was composing “dosth bada dosth” for venkatprabu!
Finally, i’d like to add that the above article is meant to be very serious and has been published after extensive research. It’s as serious and sincere as KV Anand’s Ko! It contains nothing but the truth. I’d like to end this by adding some spicy and red hot breaking news that i received via sms just now: KV’s finalised the script for his next movie: its going to be a totally different experience for the tamil audience: it illustrates the rise of a poor low caste guy who speaks nasty tamil into a multi-millionaire after braving rich upper caste villains. Amazing, novelty is synonymous with KV sir! Kudos KV sir.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

THE DRAVIDIAN JOKE

[SEQUEL TO: http://sudarshanvaradhan.blogspot.com/2011/03/india-misinterpretations-and-mayhem.html ]

Tamil Nadu’s history remains a mystery till date, especially when compared to the extensive coverage that the rest of the country has received on the global plane. This can be largely attributed to the absence of the kind of activity that warrants attention (though Tamil Nadu has had its share of drama throughout). Tamil Nadu has always been away from the global glare due to its capacity to save itself the blushes by somehow sinking under the shell at the right time, be it the period of Mughal siege or the imperialist conquests by foreigners. The relatively conservative attitude of the land’s inhabitants continues to be one of the main reasons behind much of Tamil Nadu’s glorious history being under the wraps. I use the term “relatively” because Tamil history is definitely not devoid of instances highlighting intellectual exchange. Harmonious relations with Ceylon, references to Vedic deities in Sangam literature, Buddhist and Jain leanings in its rich heritage speak volumes about Tamil Nadu’s gregarious attitude. The footmarks left by aliens are far too obvious in Tamil literature and music.
Numerous factors like the aforementioned ones have contributed to Tamil Nadu’s downplayed image in the historical scene. Unfortunately for the people of Tamil Nadu, hearts that wished to take captive of a land plagued by a situation of political stalemate and monotony struck gold by fabricating an action plan, which was essentially an extension of the divide and rule policy employed by the British. The purely unfortunate negligence of Tamil history was dubbed as a devious outcome of northern, more appropriately, Aryan autocracy. Thus emerged loud separatist cries which pressed for a separate “Dravidian” Nadu; a demand that placed the illusionary concept of “race” right at the centre of the proceedings. And look at what we have today: two dominant “Dravidian” parties sweating it out and doing whatever it takes to ascend the throne. The Aryan-Dravidian question was killing me. I set out on mission “vetticism” again. As usual, textbooks and exams took a backseat.
So I glanced through history books with a TR style question in mind: “Yaaruya intha Arya?”! As I brushed through the pages of history, I came across finitely many references to the term Arya in the Rig Veda. But all citations to the word Arya as a racist term or as a term referring to a linguistic group elsewhere pointed fingers at one man: Frederich Max Muller!
The term Arya means “the noble one” and the credit for transforming a normal Sanskrit term into a term that’s defining today’s Indian politics goes to Mr Muller. The reason is simple: Muller, a Nazi revolutionary and a devout Christian other than being a talented scholar with specialisation in manipulation needed solid evidence to shrug off the rug of Jewish influences and initiations that was plaguing their religion.
Religious fanaticism can do funny things to the human mind. In Muller’s case, it inspired him to design a miracle theory which had an affair with expert marketing propelled by enviable funding by the East India Company. German nationalist-British funding: doesn’t seem right? The fuel was religion of-course. Religion unites the extremes!
To Muller’s credit, the theory he formulated seemed extremely believable, so much so that the absence of scientific and archaeological evidence has been bewilderingly ignored; so much so that it forms an unflinching part of the Indian high school history. He proposed that the Aryans were a central Asian Sanskrit speaking barbaric race that descended on India in second century B.C. They drove the aboriginal Dravidians to the southern parts of India and exhibited cunning traits of autocracy to take over India.
They composed the Vedas over a two hundred year period and forcibly enforced it upon the natives. The Aryans who migrated from central Asia were light skinned Europeans and hence the light skinned people who were ruling India before the British were Indo-Europeans who were restricting the growth of civilization. Hence the British introduced the theory of “white man’s burden” which professed that it was the white man’s duty to the civilize the uncivilized! The Aryan theory gave the Nazis an opportunity to discard the theory of Jewish origins.
The absence of solid evidence in this regard has lead to misguidances and misinterpretations being passed off as reality and fiction being marketed as fact. But recently I stumbled upon certain rational “theories” (the stress on the word theory to make it clear that they’re inferences and extrapolations still, only more rationalist and sceptical unlike Muller’s) that claimed to be synonymous with the humbling of the mighty Goliath by the puny David. The Rig Veda describes the flourish of civilization on the banks of a river in full flow, the lost river, Sarasvati. But, by the 2nd century BCE, the Sarasvati was extinct! Hence the Vedas must have been composed much earlier and references in the Yajur and Atharva Veda date back to 6500 B.C. Therefore we can safely infer that the Vedas were composed over a longer period of time and the Aryan “race” never existed. There was never an invasion! We’re Indians: either all of us are Aryans or all of us are Dravidians. Let the separatists decide the convenient word!
Aurobindo also analysed the linguistics and etymology of Tamil and Sanskrit and discovered a striking similarity! The frequent references to Vedic terminologies and Buddhist ideologies in Tamil literature underline our long-lasting association. Indian mythology, laden with abstractions and symbolisms speak of an occasion where Shiva plays the cosmic drum. Tamil phonetics emerges from one end and Sanskrit sounds emanate from the other, signifying the common origin of both the languages.
My astonishment levels reached dizzy heights when I later learnt that Max Muller has never visited India! He is also said to have written a letter to his wife swearing to destroy the basis of Indian civilization: the ancient Indian text by controversial translation full of questionable interpretations; similar lines were uttered by the East India company heavyweight Thomas Macaulay!
So when the whole existence of the Dravidian race is questionable, where is the question of garnering votes on a Dravidian ideology? By swearing to protect the rights of the Dravidians, who are they referring to? The blatant practice of reductionism and separatism is evident! The Dravidian activists are not alone. Their hindutva counterparts, for their part, “created” a manuscript to establish the farce that Harappans were Vedic Aryans! The whole exercise of establishing a race as superior to another seems pointless to me! I wonder if anyone shares my feelings. The biggest joke though seems to be the fact that the ADMK, a leading “Dravidian” party is being spearheaded by an Aryan: an Aryan in Muller’s terms that is!
[References and further reading: Michel Danino’s “The invasion that never was”, “The lost river”;
David Frawley’s works]
I would also like to warn interested readers of the Vedic and “Hindu” pride that occasionally puts its head up in Michel Danino’s works. Nevertheless, his works are festooned with stunning detail and rationalism. The credibility of his works are beyond question, as it’s evident that they’re well researched pieces unlike Muller’s!

This article is a sequel to: http://sudarshanvaradhan.blogspot.com/2011/03/india-misinterpretations-and-mayhem.html

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

INDIA: MISINTERPRETATIONS AND MAYHEM

Elections are just around the corner in Tamil Nadu. Trust me, it takes a great deal of effort to convince lazy engineering asses to exercise the ultimate power given to them by the democracy. Jawaharlal Nehru would have been a proud man, had he seen the light of this day: his non-alignment principle seems to have gained a widespread acceptance. The lazy engineering students of today have totally dissociated themselves with the elections; they seemed to have lost faith in the system and hence have completely non-aligned themselves with the system. The common man’s incompetence at the political level and his impossibility to impose change in political domain is just another myth: after all, the Indian jigsaw will remain incomplete without myths, misinterpretations and a multitude of miscalculations and prevarications.
As a part of my “Vetticisms”, I have been conversing with a lot of foreigners. It’s a mere coincidence that most of the people I talked to haven’t visited India. So when I asked them what they knew about my country, the predominant answer was that India is a country of extreme poverty, irrational and illiterate people with religion as the ultimate priority in life. “Disgusting and unfair”, I thought. After a point, I couldn’t stand the mindless verbal butchering of the world’s most rationalist society armed with a glorious history of intellectually confrontational tradition. The gravity of the issue struck me only after I did further research; only to find out that India’s image is no different in the literate circles of the west, even after 60 years of independence, even after producing intellectuals like Swami Vivekananda and Jawaharlal Nehru, who spent a lifetime trying to improve India’s image in the west. It’s surprising that Katherine Mayo’s “Mother India”, Aravind Adiga’s booker winning “White tiger” and Danny Boyle’s Oscar winning “Slumdog Millionaire” have been more authoritative and instrumental in chiselling India’s image in the west.
The air of exoticism and mysticism that surrounds India is proving to be its biggest undoing. Religion and spirituality being promoted extensively has resulted in a biased projection of the nation in the west. Yes, religion has and will always be our biggest strength. But what the western world fails to understand is that, the picture is much broader here. Religion here is just a way of life, a set of guidelines, a tool used to induce discipline into the society; just like judiciary and governance are tools to enforce a sense of obedience. Religion in India was what religion in the west wasn’t. India, in fact has never had a religion originally. The term “religion” entered the Indian dictionaries only after the process of intellectual give and take started happening, the inflow and outflow of ideas and thoughts with the western world started materialising. The foreigners found the term “Hindu” convenient to refer to the community that resides on either sides of the Indus. Sad that the India is being referred to as a “Hindu” nation today, sad that the term has become India’s identity.
Talking about India’s identity(ies), it has been the lack of the same or in seemingly contradictory terms, the over-abundance of the same. Before the separatist tendencies of religion started corrupting the subcontinent, India was a splendidly colourful garden that housed an unbelievably surprising co-existence of contrasting, contradictory and colourful ideas. Before secularism became an omnipotent political ideology, it was in practice in India. Christians, Muslims, Jews, Parsis, Buddhists and Jains happily traversed borders to discuss “religion” devoid of its separatist tendencies. In fact, Hinduism( I’m tempted to replace this term with Indianism or any other word that signifies Indian culture instead of calling it “Hinduism” which seems more reductionist to me) is what it is today purely because of foreign influences. Its tendency to welcome alternate thinking with open arms has been its highlight throughout. I pity the fate of the culture and the situation it finds itself in: the “Hindutva” activists are making mincemeat of it. Vegetarianism, a philosophy that dominates the Puranas and Hindu scriptures today is clearly a derivative from Jainism. Advaita, a mind-blowing ideology propagated by the legendary Adi-Sankara has been tremendously inspired by Buddhism. The Lokayata, Charvaka, Sankhya, Mimasa schools of thought are predominantly agnostic and atheistic. Jainism and Buddhism form the non-conventional sects of the Nastika branch of Hindu thought. Moreover, the influence of Buddha on the Indian society is too magisterial to consider ignorance. After all, the reference here is to a nation that was predominantly Buddhist at one point of time in history! The Ramayana and Mahabharata contain many unorthodox characters which are non-spiritual and obnoxiously materialistic! Christian and Muslim influences on modern India are obvious in our literature, music and architecture. The flexibility of our culture allows us to induct inspiring thought from any part of the world into our own. So in a way, the Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Jains, Jews, agnostics, atheists etc from all over the world are Hindus. But such a blatant statement could result in the various communities of humanity separated by imaginary borders of religion taking offence to the same. Hence the message can be conveyed more diplomatically by quoting that the whole world is influenced by Indian culture!
In fact, the whole concept of an Indian nation owes its origination to two non-Hindu individuals and a non-Hindu community: Ashoka, Akbar and the British! All the three, through imperialist means have made the country realise the power of unity and have been influential in igniting the best minds of the country, peacefully or otherwise. I hereby infer that blaming external forces for disrupting Indian culture unity is pointless: because, it’s been a unanimous uniformity in Indian history.
Religion also leads to extreme fanaticism. I understand religion as a methodology adopted to direct people towards the path of Dharma. But a misinterpretation of the same pushing people to heights of barbarism is depressing. Salvation of religious pride seems to be the ultimate motive of most religious leaders today who seem to have forgotten the true motives of their religion, which turns out to be abolition of materialism and harmonious co-existence characterised by living in peace with oneself and the surroundings in most cases. Jihad, terrorism for religious reasons, manipulation of truth and history for religious and political reasons and in the name of civilization is one of the many problems plaguing the world today. India, with its spiritual over-abundance and cultural diversity has been thoroughly unsuccessful at escaping siege. I’ll write about one of the greatest farces that have penetrated Indian minds in my next blog. Stay tuned to this space for more!

Friday, January 14, 2011

AADUKALAM:OF BATTLES, ON AND OFF THE FIELD

After fighting an enduring battle outside the theatre to get myself a ticket, I entered the cinema hall, battered and bruised, all set for Aadukalam nevertheless. The ambience was just right; I was watching a movie in a village after a long time as I hadn’t booked tickets in advance. The mood of the people around seemed to be in blissful confluence with the onscreen characters.

The movie starts off with a breezy voiceover by Vetrimaaran, a slide show encapsulating the history of rooster-fighting making up the background. As the title suggests, the movie is about battlefields and the fights that are orchestrated on and off the same. It’s also a tale of pride, ego, confidence, revenge and infidelity.

Rooster fighting forms the backbone of the movie; the movie see-saws through the lives of characters in the heart of Madurai who are solely dependent on the same for livelihood. The resulting possessiveness about the “art”, the honour and pride that comes with it proves to be Aadukalam’s Aadukalam. The characters, their emotions and their actions are chiseled in accordance with the happenings on the battle-field!

Everything that happens as a result of the battlefield endeavors and results make perfect sense; they take the movie towards the rightful destination modeled on realism. But it’s the side-tracks and the romantic interludes that fail to strike a chord. The romance in this movie can be compared to that in “7g”: in both cases, the heroine accepting the hero’s proposal seems impossible just because the female leads in both the movies find their respective pairs repulsive initially; also for the simple reason that their characters are diametrically opposite and so are their family backgrounds. The scenes outlining the lead actress’s disgust for the hero are so strong in both the movies that, though the directors of the respective movies try very hard to make us comprehend to the ensuing battle of love between the two at an emotional level, they fail. But I have to add that Vetri’s effort to fool us with his romantic fantasy has surely met with more success than Selva’s.
Acting is reason enough to give this movie a shot. I loved the old man who plays “Pettaikaran” more than Dhanush in this flick. Dhanush’s acting prowess, especially in the movies where he plays the “locallu” guy is well known. To emulate Dhanush and make a mark when Dhanush is playing his favourite character takes a lot of effort and surprisingly, the old man seems to have done it with graceful ease. Having said that, Dhanush himself has come up with a cracker of a performance. He reverberates with oodles of energy scene after scene and after Selva, Dhanush seems to be very comfortable working with Vetri! The partnership is a success again. Kishore is another asset to the team.

GV has come up with beautiful songs for the movie and they have beautifully blended with the mood; the placement of the songs warrant mention. The BGM though, didn’t appeal to me. It seemed very repetitive and monotonous. Editing is one big letdown in this movie: I wonder why our filmmakers are so intent on stretching a movie to 150 minutes and beyond. To make things worse, a lot of scenes have been scissored abruptly. Aadukalam is what it is solely because of its screenplay. The emotions have worked wonderfully well and the innovative engineering of a plethora of reactions around the red-hot core of rooster fighting made for intriguing viewing. The computer generated rooster fights have come out very well and the level of interest here is sure to keep the audience on seat edges. Lighting seems to be another neglected element in the movie, with the director making it difficult for us to differentiate between characters in a few scenes. Apparently, the director has employed this technique to reflect the emotions; but he needn’t have done it to this extent! It also takes the sheen of the otherwise flawless cinematography. One big surprise in Aadukalam was the disappearance of a seemingly important character after the end of the first half, who was apparently used only for the build up.

To sum it up, Aadukalam is refreshingly innovative and deserves applause for Vetrimaran’s eye for excruciating detail and desire for perfection. The movie is not without its set of flaws though. Go enjoy this flick and raise the bar on your expectation meter for Vetrimaran’s next venture! Hope he comes up with such innovative themes devoid of clichés in the future.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Lost and forgotten

2010 turned out to be a highly satisfying year for the Tamil film industry. As box office success stories were scripted one after another, producers went laughing all the way to the bank. A lot has been said and written about these movies. But a lot of commendable efforts went down the drain too. Genuine hard work miraculously escaped the discerning eyes of the critics; failure at the box-office added insult to injury. A look at the unfortunate underachievers of 2010:
1. Porkalam: Ten minutes into this movie, I realised that I was in for something different, though I wasn’t sure if the movie viewing experience was going to be a satisfying one. The bizarre cinematography, the confusing colour tones and the insanely illogical screenplay backed by the disturbingly imposing imagery received a judicious justification by the end of the first half! Every missing chunk, every seemingly non-reasonable action of the characters acquired new meaning as turbidity made way for supreme clarity and excruciating detail. What possibly worked against the movie was the clichéd second half. The minimal dialogues that made viewing such a pleasurable experience gave way to a badly narrated flashback. A disappointingly scripted climax, festooned with formulae followed. Nevertheless, the overall movie experience was good and the movie surely deserved more than what it got.
2. Aayirathil oruvan: Though this one was mediocre at the box-office, thanks to its celebrity director and an enviable star cast, the movie got a rough deal from the critics. I’m yet to recover from the shock that I experienced when I saw that a “top” movie website had given it half on a scale of five! The sheer scale of the movie and the ambition of the director deserve mention. The whole film industry shamelessly went gaga about Endhiran whereas they unanimously chose to ignore the eruption of a classic among their ranks. While the whole film industry is fuming over the inability of today’s directors to churn out a script depicting the problems faced by the Eezham, Selvaraghavan quietly did it quite effectively and indirectly in the closing scenes of the movie. The superbly composed and meticulously written “Thai thinra manne” is one of the most under-rated songs of the year. Another heart-warming thing about this epic is that, it placed the spirit of Tamil at the centre of everything. I felt shame when I realised that I couldn’t understand my own mother-tongue completely when it was spoken the way it’s got to be. On the flip-side, Selva paying scant heed to the diction of the lead actresses in the first half of the movie was disappointing. So many cogent and powerful voices speak volumes about the importance of Tamil dialogues in Tamil cinema but hardly does anyone implement it. And when a director as significant as Selva did it, all the big-mouths slipped into hibernation mode!
3. Naanayam: Films based on bank robberies are not new to the world of cinema but it’s certainly something that’s hardly put its head up in Tamil cinema. Though this movie was laden with a few avoidable sequences, it certainly had scenes brimming with novelty. The interesting casting and the impressive background score added sparkle to the proceedings.
4. Vamsam: The director of “Pasanga” returned with “Vamsam” and the result was an intriguingly scripted drama which had its share of witty humour. A tale that narrated the history of various communities and the importance of retaining the pride of the same, the oft-seen climax involving a one on one tussle between the hero and the baddie proved to be its undoing.
5. Mandhira punnaghai: This psychological drama stood out for its inventive character sketching and dialogues. The protagonist reminded me of the lead character in Ayn Rand’s “fountainhead” and the concept of imagining non-existent characters brought back memories of “The beautiful mind” and our own “Kudaikkul Mazhai”. Though the influences are obvious, the treatment remains novel. Had the director worked on the casting and an alternate climax, this one could have been one of the many success stories of this year
6. Goa: The movie on the outset was a highly boring one and many jokes fell flat. But the expansive scope for a homosexual character was one of the few highlights of the movie. Cheers to the director solely for being bold enough!
7. IKMS: Yet another movie with a novel theme. Worth a watch purely for the satire factor. Compromises aplenty and a carelessly woven screenplay, the deft final touches and editor’s scissors were found wanting.
There were a lot of other films I missed out on. Orr iravu, Thaen maerku paruva kaatru to name a few, which “others” reckon, are pretty good. Sad that good attempts occasionally fall out! I sincerely hope people recognise novel attempts this New Year and such underachievers effectively pull off the disappearing act!

Monday, December 27, 2010

“SU(O)N” RISE


The year 2010 is drawing to a close and while the process of the curtains being pulled down is going on in full swing, the focus of my mind strolled towards a rather alarming yet unaddressed trend that’s erupting in Kodambakkam. Yes, this year will remain etched in the memories of our fellow beings as a year of corruption and hence I perceive that the media had a lot of other important things to talk about. I happened to come across an article recently, when I was busy getting myself ready for a morning show of “Red giant movies” Manmadan ambu”, which proclaimed that Karunanidhi had famously announced that his assets accounted to just “5.65 crores” and that he neither had any benamis nor had he sponsored any financial venture involving anyone else. Alright!
As I rode to the theatre, my thoughts wavered between the movie I was going to watch and the article that I had read that morning till a point of convergence was arrived upon. I started thinking about the producer of the movie I was going to watch that day, who also happens to be one of MK’s grandsons. The flow of thoughts refused to ebb. I started analyzing the success of other Tamil movies. Most of them had one thing in common: they had been sponsored by one of the three sons of the “sun” fraternity. The big three I’m referring to are: “Kalanidhi Maran”, son of the late Murasoli Maran, “Dayanidhi Azhagiri”, son of MK Azhagiri and “Udhayanidhi Stalin”, son of deputy CM of TN, MK Stalin.
The first one’s a media baron whereas the other two assumed charge of two of the biggest production and distribution houses in TN immediately after college. Well, that makes it a sensational story: the kind of financial upsurge that was experienced by only a select few: Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook fame, Sarath Kumar in the movie Suryavamsam and Rajinikanth in Annamalai and many of his other movies. Mark’s story is out in filmy form as The Social Network, but a film on how the children of Tamil Nadu’s first family mastered the art of becoming kings of the Tamil film production industry is yet to be made. Perhaps, the sons themselves would end up acting and producing the movie and I presume it’ll serve as a source of inspiration for thousands of poor youth; they’d be made to believe that a monumental rise is after all, not impossible. Logically, these “sons” should have started from scratch as MK says he never sponsored a third party business, even if it involves his family (which is incidentally contributing monolithically to the population explosion): MK is to be believed no doubt, cos MK is an honourable man. And so are the others, cos they’re all all honourable men.
The story is even more awe inspiring because the success rate of the “big” production houses is astounding. “Cloud nine” has a success rate of 80% with four of the five movies that it has distributed so far turning out to be super hits. “Red giant” has a success rate of 85.71% with six out of seven of his films turning out to be hits. “Sun pictures” has a success rate of 68.75% with eleven of their 16 endeavours proving profitable. We also have to take notice of the fact that “Sun Pictures” have produced two movies produced by actor Vijay, who seems to be having a horrendous run at the box office with a record five flops on the trot due to his horrible selection of scripts; he also seems to have run out of luck, which has often been instrumental in his occasional success. Hence Sun pictures’ success rate can be approximated to 78.5%.
All the aforementioned numbers seem orotund when we consider the fact that only 12% of the total movies that release in a year become hits. One family controls the whole Tamil cine industry, an analogy to the political scenario prevailing in Tamil Nadu! I also happened to notice another disturbing fact: an unassuming look at the list of movies that have been “made” hits by the all-powerful trio left me shell shocked. The fact that movies like Thenavattu, Masilamani, Aadhavan are able to churn out oodles of money due to “intelligent” promotion tactics, underlines the abysmal state of Tamil cinema. It’s plain and simple: the success or failure of a movie doesn’t depend on the actor or the director; it plainly depends on the house that’s producing the flick. “They” have monopolized the industry.
One important yet unlikely beneficiary of this monopoly seems to be another son! A son who’s not related to the “sun” fraternity; actor Sivakumar’s son Suriya (sun)! Suriya’s last five flicks have been produced or distributed by the terrific trio of the industry, which seems to have had a major influence on the outcome of the movies. His acting capabilities and adroitness at choosing scripts is unquestionable though one would be tempted to attribute the extent of success of his movies to the production houses.
A resolution stating that “big” advertisements in newspapers are supposed to be given out only on milestone days like the day of the release, audio release, 25th day, fiftieth day etc was passed in the producers’ council. It now looks like that bill has gone to the dumps. The trio is also having a ball by rigorous and continuous promotion on self-owned TV channels. Special shows featuring the stars, screening of the movie trailer every five minutes, repeated playing of the movie songs on their respective music channels have only ensured that 110 small budget films produced by “others” are still lying in the cans.
The trio has thus managed to seal the fates of small-time producers who dream of making it big. On the flipside, keeping the legality of the money that’s being used by these concerns to produce flicks aside, they have the capacity to constructively contribute to the growth of the industry by shelling out the big bucks to produce big budget movies so that the Indian dream of producing a movie of “Hollywood” quality can be realized someday. That again, is a debatable issue!
But we got to realize that the power is in our hands: regardless of the publicity, we get to choose whether to watch or to not watch a movie. Decide. Intelligently…